Caregiving isn’t something that happens overnight—it’s a role that many of us step into gradually, often without realizing how much it will ask of us. For me, it started in childhood, long before I was old enough to understand what caregiving really meant. I grew up as the oldest child of a mother who struggled with mental health issues and serious physical illness later in life. Over the years, I learned what it meant to care for someone when it felt like no one was there to care for me.
My name is Laura Lynn Morrissey. I am the Founder of SilverSavvy, and the prior-owner of a busy homecare company. I know firsthand how overwhelming caregiving can be—juggling that responsibility with a demanding career and trying to care for yourself is no easy feat. Through it all, I’ve learned that, while caregiving is one of the hardest jobs, it also offers a chance to build resilience, set healthy boundaries, and practice self-compassion..
Early Lessons in Caregiving
My caregiving journey didn’t start when I became an adult—it started when I was seven years old. My mother battled severe depression, and as a child, I sometimes found myself in situations that were hard to understand. I can still remember running to the neighbors for help or calling the police when my mother needed support. There were nights when I stayed awake, feeling uncertain about what the morning would bring.
While my mother faced her own challenges and my father wasn’t always present, I know they were both doing the best they could under difficult circumstances. Thankfully, I was surrounded by an incredible group of people—my mother’s siblings—who stepped in to offer the love and stability I needed. They took a genuine interest in my success, and their presence made all the difference during those years.
I’m forever grateful for the role they played in my life. Their love and support taught me that family can be found in those who show up and believe in you, even when life feels overwhelming.
The takeaway: Surround yourself with people who lift you up and offer genuine support—sometimes, they’re the ones who help carry you through life’s most challenging moments.
Building My Career and Homecare Business
Despite the challenges at home, I was determined to create a different life for myself. I graduated from UMASS, Amherst with a degree in political science and initially planned to attend law school. However, I chose to pivot and pursue a new path on Wall Street, where I built a successful career that eventually led me to an executive-level position.
While working in the financial sector, my passion for caregiving never waned. My experience caring for my mother gave me a unique perspective on the challenges that families face, and I saw an opportunity to make a difference. Within three years, I purchased and grew two homecare companies in the Boston area. I applied the skills I’d honed in financial services to build a thriving business focused on helping other families navigate the complexities of caregiving.
But while I was helping others manage caregiving, I was also facing the increasing demands of my mother’s care. Balancing both roles—business owner and primary caregiver—required patience, planning, and support. Here’s what I learned along the way.
How to Balance Career and Caregiving
Balancing caregiving and a career isn’t easy, but it is possible. Here are a few key strategies I’ve learned that helped me manage both roles while prioritizing my well-being.
1. Ask for Help When You Need It
Caregiving can feel like an enormous responsibility, but you don’t have to do it alone. Whether it’s hiring a professional caregiver or asking family members to pitch in, lean on others for support.
- Professional Care: Hiring in-home care for a few hours a week can provide relief and ensure your loved one gets the attention they need. It’s a smart way to maintain balance while ensuring your loved one’s needs are met.
- Family and Friends: Be specific when asking for help. Instead of saying, “I need help,” ask, “Can you take Mom to her appointment on Wednesday?” Specific tasks make it easier for others to assist. This one was hard for me, but I got better and better as I went along.
- Support Groups: Find support from those in similar situations. Caregiver support groups (online or in-person) can be a great source of encouragement and practical advice. Reach out to your local Senior Center; they are a wealth of resources and will assist.
2. Set Boundaries and Protect Your Time
You’re allowed to say no. Without boundaries, caregiving can easily take over your life. Setting limits will allow you to maintain control and protect your mental health.
- Protect Your Work Hours: Make it clear to your loved ones and caregivers when you’re unavailable. Use tools like “do not disturb” settings on your phone during work hours.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Block off time for self-care, exercise, or relaxation. Treat this time as non-negotiable and necessary to recharge. For me, early mornings became my dedicated time. It made a world of difference in clearing my head and setting the tone for the day.
3. Create a Daily Routine to Reduce Stress
Routine is essential for reducing the mental load of caregiving. It keeps both you and your loved one organized and helps manage stress.
- Morning and Evening Routines: A consistent routine can provide structure and reduce anxiety. Set a schedule for medications, meals, and relaxation time to create predictability.
- Caregiving Apps: Use digital tools or caregiving apps to stay organized. These tools can track appointments, medications, and tasks so you can share the workload with others. I love the app Calm. I use it to this day.
4. Build Self-Care and Reflection into Your Day
Self-care is critical to your ability to care for others. Make time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes each day.
- Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings. Journaling is an effective way to process emotions and reduce stress.
- Exercise and Fresh Air: Get moving, even if it’s a short walk outside. Exercise is an instant mood booster and helps clear your mind.
- Spiritual Practice: Faith has always been the cornerstone of my strength. Whether it’s through prayer, meditation, or reflection, connecting with something greater can bring comfort and peace.
- Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness or meditation to center yourself. Even a few minutes can provide calm in a busy day.
5. Communicate Clearly with Family and Care Teams
Clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and help you share the caregiving responsibilities.
- Set Expectations: Be direct with family members and care teams about your needs. Explain what you’re managing and what you need help with.
- Family Meetings: Regular family meetings or zoom calls can help keep everyone informed and involved. Use this time to discuss care plans and delegate, delegate, delegate tasks.
6. Use Counseling and Support to Process Emotions
Caregiving can take an emotional toll. Seeking professional support or leaning on trusted friends can help you cope.
- Counseling: Therapy is a powerful tool for managing the stress, anxiety, and guilt that can accompany caregiving. It’s a great way to gauge your coping skills and get an emotional tune-up.
- Breathing Exercises: Practice deep breathing techniques like box breathing to reduce stress in moments of overwhelm.
- Talk to Friends: Sharing your experiences with a trusted friend can lighten the emotional load. Surround yourself with people who understand and support you.
Embracing Support and Letting Go of Guilt
Toward the end of my mother’s life, her care needs became too great for me to handle on my own. Recognizing this, I learned the importance of asking for help, something I hadn’t always done before. My brother and I faced the challenge together, navigating the difficult process of finding the right long-term care community for her. While it was a tough decision, moving her into a skilled nursing facility allowed her to thrive in ways she hadn’t in years. Most importantly, it gave me the chance to step back and just be her daughter again. I would visit her often and treasured those last months, knowing she was in good hands.
Letting go of guilt was one of the hardest but most important steps in my caregiving journey. It reminded me that no one can do it all, and it’s okay to seek help when needed. If you’re struggling with guilt, remember that it’s not only okay but essential to ask for help, take breaks, and prioritize your well-being. Remember that instruction from the flight attendant just before the plane takes off: “In the event of an emergency, put the oxygen mask on yourself first before putting it on a loved one”. I changed it up a bit, but you get the drift.
Conclusion
Caregiving is one of the most challenging roles anyone can take on, but it’s also one of the most meaningful. You don’t have to do it alone. By asking for help, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care, you can balance caregiving with your own life. You deserve to be cared for just as much as the person you’re caring for.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take it one day at a time, and remember that you’re not alone.
We are Here to Help
At SilverSavvy, we’re here to support you on your caregiving journey. Visit the Wellness Section of our website for more tips on how to care for yourself while caring for others. We’d love to hear your feedback—share your thoughts in the comments below or click here to schedule a consultation with one of our experts today to learn more about how we can help you and your family navigate caregiving.
Share your Experience
What’s one thing you’ve done to balance caregiving and your own life? Share your experience in the comments below—I’d love to hear your story.
To You Aging Well,
Laura Lynn Morrissey