If you’re reading this right after the holidays, you might be carrying something heavier than your suitcase home.
Maybe you went to your parents’ house and noticed:
- The fridge was mostly takeout containers and expired food.
- The stairs looked harder for your dad than last year.
- Your mom was more forgetful, unsteady, or just… tired.
And now, as the decorations come down and real life starts back up, you’re left with that quietly terrifying thought:
“I don’t think they can keep doing this on their own.”
In the past couple of weeks, I’ve been talking with a daughter in exactly this spot.
She and her sister both love their mom deeply. They’re professionals—one of them works in healthcare—who have done everything right on paper. Years ago, they sold Mom’s house, created a small suite attached to the family home, and moved her in so someone was always nearby.
But over time, they’re seeing the changes: slower walking, poorer balance, little stumbles, more fatigue. Even with a daughter in healthcare in the house, they’re realizing it’s not going to be enough.
One evening around 9 p.m. (not an unusual time for these calls), one of the daughters reached out to me. She said something I hear often:
“I thought we had it handled. But I’m concerned now. I don’t know what the next step is… and I don’t want to wait for a crisis.”
We talked through what’s happening, what they’re already doing, and where the real risk points are. Together, we’re putting a plan in place: starting home care a few mornings a week to support bathing, safety, and exercise—before Mom has a serious fall.
I share this because even families with good planning, nearby support, and professional experience still need help.
And right after the holidays is exactly when that realization tends to hit.
When I owned a home care agency, this was consistently our busiest time of year. We ramped up hiring and training and made sure we could staff and support the surge of families who had just been home and finally seen how much things had changed.
If your parent has finally said, “Okay, I’ll accept some help at home,” you’ve already done something brave. But now you’re staring at a wall of Google results for “home care near me” and thinking:
- How am I supposed to know who’s actually good?
- What should I be asking?
- What are they not telling me?
This is where I can give you something most people don’t get: a peek behind the curtain.
For years, I owned a non-medical home care company. I sat at kitchen tables with families, matched caregivers, dealt with emergencies at 2 a.m., and watched what really made a company trustworthy (and where things quietly fell apart).
This post is the next step in a conversation we’ve been having through:
- The November blog about noticing changes and starting the conversation, and
- The December podcast + follow-up blog with Jill at Death Readiness about talking to your parents about getting help.
Today, as you head into a new year, I want to help you move from talking to choosing:
How do you actually hire a home care company—and feel reasonably confident about it?
Start With Your Parent, Not Google
Before you pick up the phone, take 10 quiet minutes and jot down:
- What does a “good day” look like for your parent right now?
- What are you already worried about? (Falls, meds, driving, loneliness?)
- Are there personal care needs? (Bathing, dressing, toileting, incontinence?)
- Any memory issues or confusion?
- What would your parent absolutely hate?
(A revolving door of strangers, uniforms, super-chatty people, very quiet people, etc.)
When I owned my agency, the families who had the best experience weren’t the ones who asked for “your best caregiver.” They were the ones who could say:
“Dad is proud and private. He wants someone calm and capable who doesn’t fuss over him or talk down to him.”
That kind of clarity lets a good agency actually match your parent with the right person instead of just filling a shift.
Not All “Home Care Companies” Are the Same
Most adult children don’t realize there are a few different models hiding behind similar-looking websites.
Very simply:
- Employee-based agency
Caregivers are employees. The agency handles hiring, training, scheduling, taxes, workers’ comp, and liability insurance. - Registry / “we just match you” model
They introduce you to caregivers, but you may become the employer. That can mean responsibility for payroll, taxes, and some liability. - Medical home health (usually ordered by a doctor)
Nurses and therapists come for short visits. They’re not there to stay for six hours, cook lunch, or help with laundry. That’s where non-medical home care fits in.
Understanding the model helps you understand what you’re really buying—and what you’re responsible for.
6 Questions I Wish Every Family Had Asked Me
Here are six questions that will tell you far more than any brochure ever will.
1. “Are your caregivers employees, and are they insured?”
Here’s what that really means behind the scenes:
If something goes wrong, who is actually responsible—and is my parent protected?
You want a clear, straightforward answer, something like:
- “Yes, our caregivers are employees. We handle taxes, workers’ comp, and liability insurance. We are bonded and insured.”
If they can’t explain this in plain language, that’s a concern.
2. “Who supervises the caregivers and how often?”
Underneath that, the real worry is:
Is anyone besides the caregiver actually checking on my parent?
Ask:
- Is there a care manager or nurse who does an initial visit?
- How often does someone check in after care starts—especially in the first few weeks?
- If I have a concern, who do I talk to that actually knows my parent?
A good agency expects to stay involved, not just send a caregiver and disappear.
3. “What kind of training do your caregivers receive?”
Here’s what that really means behind the scenes:
Are you just handing someone a badge and a schedule, or are you actually preparing them to work safely with someone like my mom or dad?
A few key follow-ups:
- What training do they get?
For example: dementia, fall prevention, safe transfers, incontinence, personal care, and communication. - How do you prepare them for a shift with my parent?
Do they hear about my parent’s abilities, habits, and preferences before they show up, or just get an address and a start time? - If we’re using Long Term Care Insurance (LTCI),
are your notes and care plans detailed enough to support LTCI paperwork and recertifications?
That last one tells them you understand there’s more at stake here than filling hours.
4. “What happens if the caregiver isn’t a good fit?”
Underneath that, the real worry is:
What happens when this is awkward, or my parent just doesn’t like them?
Listen for answers like:
- “You tell us, and we’ll rematch. It happens, and we’d rather know.”
- “We’ll ask what felt off—too quiet, too talkative, not enough dementia experience—and use that to guide the next match.”
If they seem defensive or make you feel guilty for even asking, that’s a red flag.
5. “How do you handle call-outs and last-minute changes?”
Here’s what that really means behind the scenes:
Am I going to miss work every time your caregiver has a flat tire?
A realistic agency will say something like:
- “We can’t promise 100% coverage, but we do have a backup process.”
- “Here’s how often we’re able to cover last-minute call-outs.”
- “If we can’t find a replacement, here’s how and when we’ll let you know.”
You’re not looking for magic. You’re looking for honesty and a plan.
6. “How will you communicate with me?”
Underneath that, the real worry is:
Am I going to be in the dark until something goes wrong?
Ask:
- How will you update me—phone, email, family portal, text?
- When do you reach out—only for crises, or also when you notice smaller changes?
- Can we agree upfront on how often I’ll hear from you at the beginning?
Good communication doesn’t eliminate problems, but it makes them manageable.
What to Do With the Answers
As a former owner, here’s the pattern I saw over and over:
- Agencies that gave clear, specific answers to these questions usually had clear, specific systems behind the scenes.
- Agencies that dodged, rushed, or over-promised often struggled with turnover, coverage, and follow-through.
You don’t have to grill anyone or feel like a prosecutor. You’re simply saying:
“My parent matters. I’m paying attention. I want this to work for everyone.”
A well-run home care company will welcome that.
Heading Into a New Year With a Little More Support
The turn of the year can be a quiet line in the sand:
“Last year we worried. This year we take a step.”
Hiring a home care company isn’t like choosing a restaurant. You’re inviting someone into your loved one’s most private spaces—the bathroom, the bedroom, those slow early mornings at the kitchen table.
You deserve more than guesswork.
If you’d like a guide in your corner, this is exactly the kind of work I do through SilverSavvy.
Together, we can:
- Clarify what your parent really needs (and what they’ll actually tolerate).
- Map out which services make sense in your situation.
- Review your questions for agencies—especially if there’s a Long Term Care Insurance claim involved.
- Talk through the answers you’re getting so you’re not second-guessing yourself.
Two Simple Ways to Take the Next Step
1. Reply with a question.
You can reply to this blog or email me directly at [email protected].
Tell me where you are in the process and what’s feeling hardest right now. I read every message.
2. Schedule a consultation.
If you’d like one-on-one support, you can schedule a SilverSavvy consultation to walk through your options and your specific parent situation.
👉 Click to schedule
You don’t have to start the new year trying to hold all of this alone.
There is a calmer, more informed way through—and I’d be honored to help you find it.
Warmly,
Laura Lynn Morrissey
Founder, SilverSavvy, CDP