If you’re anything like me, you probably didn’t expect to become your parents’ primary caregiver overnight. Yet, life happens, and many of us find ourselves in a crisis situation, unprepared to deal with the financial and emotional burden of long-term care.
Laura Lynn Morrissey, here, the Founder of SilverSavvy and a devoted caregiver. My mother was meticulous when it came to her personal affairs—always on top of her bills and responsibilities. However, she was also very private, almost secretive, and unwilling to talk about long-term care planning. When her health suddenly declined due to COPD and congestive heart failure, I found myself scrambling to gain access to critical records and obtain her signature on important documents—often on a Friday night or early on a Sunday morning. I was calling notaries at odd hours, asking them to meet me at night or on the weekend. It was a race against time, and though I was ultimately successful, it easily could have gone the other way. Important decisions were left undone because there was no plan in place.
It was an honor to close out my mother’s life with dignity, but it was a scramble I wouldn’t wish on anyone. That’s why I’m here to help you avoid what I went through. Let’s break down what you need to know about the costs of long-term care so that you and your family can be prepared.
The Reality of Long-Term Care Costs
When my mother’s health declined, I had no idea how much long-term care would cost. Many families are in the same boat, yet few realize that 70% of people over the age of 65 will require long-term care at some point in their lives. Yet, we don’t talk about it nearly enough. Whether it’s due to fear, denial, or simply not knowing where to start, long-term care planning often falls by the wayside—until it’s too late.
The Average Costs:
- In-Home Care: The national median for in-home care with a health aide is approximately $5,148 per month. This doesn’t account for extra costs such as home modifications or transportation, which can quickly add up.
- Assisted Living: The average monthly cost of assisted living is around $4,500, but many families find themselves paying additional fees for personal care or medication management.
- Nursing Home Care: For those requiring 24-hour skilled nursing, nursing homes cost significantly more—$9,034 per month for a private room.
Families often think they are prepared if they’ve purchased long-term care insurance (LTCI), but that’s just the beginning. Most LTCI policies don’t cover everything, and even financially well-off families can find themselves in crisis mode, scrambling to make ends meet.
Why Most Families Wait Until It’s Too Late
Many families, like mine, wait until a health emergency hits to start planning for long-term care. This is not uncommon. The sudden need for care forces families into a reactionary state, where decisions are made hastily and often under emotional distress. I know this because I lived it.
When my mother’s condition deteriorated, there was no power of attorney, no advance healthcare directive, and no will. I had to reach out to notaries just to make sure I had the legal authority to make decisions for her—whether it was paying bills or arranging her care. It was exhausting, emotionally and financially. The truth is, most families don’t think through “What-If” scenarios until they’re in crisis mode.
How to Approach a Loved One Who Refuses to Plan
One of the most challenging parts of long-term care planning is starting the conversation with someone who, like my mother, refuses to discuss it. Many people feel uncomfortable facing their own aging, and some believe they won’t need long-term care at all.
If you’re struggling to start this conversation, here are some approaches that can help:
- Choose the Right Time: Timing is everything. Choose a moment when your loved one is calm and not stressed. Avoid busy family gatherings or times when they might feel overwhelmed.
- Focus on Empathy, Not Fear: Instead of focusing on “what will happen if something goes wrong,” approach the conversation from a place of care and empathy. “Mom, I just want to make sure you’re comfortable and your wishes are honored, no matter what happens.” Reassure them that it’s about their well-being and dignity.
- Share Stories: Sometimes hearing about others’ experiences can open the door to conversation. You can share stories—like mine—about families who had to scramble when a loved one fell ill. Real-life examples may help them see the importance of planning.
- Start Small: If your loved one is resistant, try starting with smaller steps, like discussing a basic healthcare directive or power of attorney, instead of a full long-term care plan. These steps build trust and may ease them into larger decisions over time.
- Bring in a Professional: In some cases, hearing the information from a neutral third party, such as a financial planner, eldercare consultant, or attorney, can make a difference. Professionals can explain the potential costs and challenges, and help break down complex topics into manageable parts.
Breaking Down the Costs by Care Setting
Let’s get specific about what you might be facing financially:
- In-Home Care: Costs can vary depending on the level of care needed. Home health aides charge about $27 per hour, which equates to $4,200 per month for full-time care. This cost doesn’t cover home modifications like installing grab bars, stairlifts, or making homes more accessible for aging adults.
- Assisted Living: Assisted living communities provide a middle ground between independent living and nursing homes. The average cost for assisted living is around $4,500 per month, but services such as assistance with daily activities or managing medications often come at an additional cost.
- Nursing Homes: For families who need 24-hour supervision and medical care, nursing homes are the most expensive option. A private room costs about $9,034 per month, and shared rooms run slightly less at $7,908. For my mother, this wasn’t even an option due to the high costs. I had to find alternatives, but even then, it was $3,900 per month out of pocket.
What You Can Do Now to Prepare
It’s not too late to take control of your situation. Here are some actionable steps you can take today to avoid the emotional and financial overwhelm that I experienced:
- Start the Conversation Early: Don’t wait for a health crisis to start talking about long-term care with your loved ones. Begin discussing care preferences, financial plans, and key decisions like who will be the power of attorney.
- Evaluate Financial Options: If your family already has long-term care insurance, review the policy thoroughly. Understand what is covered and what isn’t. You may also want to explore other financial vehicles like reverse mortgages or savings plans specifically for long-term care.
- Create a What-If Plan: Build a simple, actionable plan that outlines different care scenarios, so you are not scrambling when the time comes. Include details like where your loved one would like to live, the type of care they prefer, and how much you expect it will cost.
- Seek Professional Guidance: Financial advisors may not always dive into long-term care planning unless you ask. Don’t be afraid to reach out to specialists like elder care attorneys or long-term care consultants to ensure all your bases are covered.
Hidden Costs You Might Overlook
Even with all the planning, there are still costs that families often don’t see coming:
- Inflation in Healthcare Costs: Healthcare costs are rising faster than regular inflation, which means the price you plan for today could be much higher in just a few years.
- Caregiver Burnout: If you or a family member plans to care for your loved one yourself, don’t forget to account for caregiver support services or respite care. Believe me when I say, burnout is real, and having backup care in place is crucial.
- End-of-Life Expenses: Costs like funeral arrangements, final bills, and estate management can also pile up. I had to manage my mother’s final bills, close out her accounts, and even file her last tax return—all while trying to grieve.
Take Control Now: What You Can Do Today
You don’t have to face this unprepared. Here’s what you can do right now to safeguard your future:
- Start the Conversation: Sit down with your loved ones and begin discussing care options and financial plans.
- Review Your Insurance: Make sure you understand exactly what your long-term care insurance covers and where the gaps are.
- Create a Care Plan: Include your loved one’s preferences for care and realistic financial projections.
- Get Expert Help: If this feels overwhelming, I’m here to help.
Nervous About Where to Begin: We Are Here to Help
After navigating the complexities of my mother’s care, I can tell you that it doesn’t have to be this way. By taking small steps today, you can prevent the emotional and financial chaos that many families face.
At SilverSavvy, we believe in preparing for the future informed and with dignity. It’s never too early to start planning for long-term care, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation might seem. Having a plan in place ensures that your loved ones can focus on what matters most—caring for each other—without scrambling at the last minute.
If you want to learn more or need personalized guidance, sign up for our newsletter at www.silversavvy.com, or schedule a free consultation by emailing us at [email protected].
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To You Aging Well,
